May 2, 2022
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Why is illness given and what does it teach?

Why is illness given and what does it teach?

Illness is a way to get what you can’t get without illness. Some psychotherapists believe that almost all illnesses are based on a psychological cause. But classical medicine officially recognizes seven diseases in which the psychosomatic factor is the leading one. They are singled out in the “Chicago Seven”.

Illness arises as a way to satisfy the needs that have so happened – it is impossible to satisfy in any other way. So what does illness allow?

1. Take care of yourself without guilt

Medicines, all kinds of care products, expensive tests, procedures, examinations – all this is provided to you, simply because you are sick.

Try to spend the same amount on the services of a stylist or a massage course. For several generations of women, this is unacceptable. There is always something that needs more money.

2. Right to rest

The paradox is that most modern women, even becoming freelancers or having a free schedule, still live by the principle that says – “A woman has only two cases when she can do nothing – this is pregnancy or illness.”

And our whole system is built on this principle. The child cannot not go to school if he does not want to. There is only one reason why he can miss school – it’s illness. Well, not absurd, is it?!

3. The right to be cared for by loved ones

The opportunity to feel like a woman who is taken care of.

Somehow it is not customary for us to take care of the “strong, smart and successful”, especially those who can take care of themselves. Illness gives the right to receive this care and tenderness.

If relatives continue to ignore even these unambiguous messages for help, then the disease will progress, and at some point these requests will have to be heard. Duty in the intensive care unit will be provided.

4. Attention of relatives and friends

Illness is a way to feel special, worthy of attention. They talk about you, they talk about you. You become the topic of the day. And the more twisted and complex the disease, the more “oohs and aahs”.

5. Respect

A person who endures terrible suffering, along with pity and sympathy, even with thoughts: “Lord, God forbid this is me …” causes awe and respect.

If for some reason what you are doing at the moment does not inspire respect (especially from yourself), then a serious illness will give this respect. And no one canceled the desire to feel like a “hero”.

6. The ability to not decide what needs to be decided

When a child is seriously ill, the idea of ​​​​divorce will have to be postponed.

Your own severe illness will make you wait a little with new projects and a change in the type of activity. Long-term care of a loved one is a good reason not to ask questions about your personal life and career.

7. Possibility of suspension, slowness, listening to yourself

With an illness, life slows down dramatically, and what was previously ignored and not noticed comes to the fore. Every breath you take, every step you take becomes important.

8. “The Last Will of the Dying”

It is customary to listen to the wishes of a sick person, and when you get sick, you can finally force your husband to fix the taps and attach a falling handle to the door. Not to mention other more global requests.

9. See the world from a different perspective

The disease allows you to get into another reality. If you had to look at the folds of the fabric on the lampshade for several hours in a row, or look at the figures of outlandish animals in the cracks on the ceiling, you understand what I mean. When the only thing you can do is look for hours at one square meter by meter, then the world appears before you from a completely different side.

10. Rethink your life

A serious illness makes you think about what you previously preferred not to think about. When the prospect arises that perhaps this is the end, then all the lies about yourself and your life disappear somewhere, and you remain with the truth. And at this moment there is a global reinstallation of the system.

Needs are things that have to be satisfied. The only question is the method. If for some reason an adult is not ready to present his needs openly, then the “body theater” is unconsciously turned on and these needs will be satisfied through manipulations with the body – i.e. illness.

Congenital diseases or diseases of children under 6-8 years old are an unconscious mother’s order. A way to satisfy your needs at the expense of a sick child. Starting from the opportunity not to go to work to finding a personal women’s mission – “Mom of a seriously ill child.”

It is impossible to admit such things “on the forehead”, without proper readiness. The strongest psychological protection is included.

Therefore, it makes sense to approach awareness gradually:

  • Ask yourself: What does this illness allow me to receive? Make a list. Sincerely with examples.
  • Live each item. Without condemning yourself, but with the recognition of this way of getting something very important for yourself.
  • Allow yourself to receive the same openly in relationships, presenting your needs, talking about them. Confessing to them.

The disease goes away when it is no longer needed.

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