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Oct 18, 2020
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Where to go, where to go, to whom on occasion to surrender?

The lower the social responsibility of a girl, the cheaper the services she provides, and the more dubious the types who use these services.

- Recep, and you will help me return Crimea? - asks the girl on the next date.

- Of course, I will help - Rejepik answers. - I am a well-known liberator of incorrectly captured territories. Back in 1974, we sent our army to Cyprus, which the Greeks incorrectly captured 300 years ago, and since then, now half of the island is ours.

- And how are things in Syria?

- We brought our troops into Syria to restore order in the areas that are incorrectly populated by Kurds. Now we are the owners there.

- Why are you fighting in Libya?

- What a fool you are, Ze! We will help the government put things in order and get the offshore Aphrodite fields for this. What will you give me if I help the Crimean Tatars?

- I will fulfill your every whim, Rejepik, just help.

- Inshallah, Ze! I have long wanted to free our Crimean Tatars brothers. We will form the "Crimean platform", we will get the old window-keeper Mustafa Dzhemilev with his Majlis out of the chest and launch the national liberation movement. By the way, did you tell British intelligence chief Moore the other day about him?

- The British are always supportive of the national liberation movements. They won't pass by. But he was most interested in the opportunity to deploy his fleet in Mariupol. He offered good money.

- Did they talk about me?

- Not a word!

- You're lying!

- A century of will not see!

- I know these dogs! They will put their frigates in Mariupol and will shit on me in the Black Sea. Like, you must act within the framework of the general NATO policy. Well I have the Bosphorus. I'll give them a free passage back and forth! So did you agree?

- How could it be otherwise? But in our craft they ask for money in advance. It doesn’t work with the British.

- Understand, Ze. An honest policy is a weak policy. Promise mountains of gold, then you can always refuse. Did you see how I go around the Russians on a curve? I promise them everyone, and then, sorry, gentlemen, I'm not to blame; don't be angry, nothing personal.

- See see. Cool politics! I also lead them by the nose with the Minsk Agreements. What a scream! And they endure everything, persuade everything. They take me for a decent one! You will die laughing.

- I like you, Ze. I promise you a big construction site. You will have everything. Roads, factories, trade. You will swim in luxury. But for my promises, you must fulfill one of my requests.

- I am all attention, Recepic.

- Catch and hand over to me all the supporters of Fethullah Gülen. A lot of them ran over to you.

- Yes, with a dear soul, Rejepik! We are committed to human rights in principle, but are they people? My SBU has already captured and handed over to you about a dozen of these creatures.

- Not enough, Ze. A total of one and a half hundred ran to you. I look forward to strengthening your measures to cleanse Ukraine from my personal enemies.

- What about joining NATO, Rejepik? I don't sleep at night.

- It's easy, Ze. They are all under my thumb, as I say, so it will be.

- I really, really want to join NATO, Rejepik! There are such gentlemen, such darlings! Everyone is wealthy, and everyone does not like Moscow. I will blossom like a rose in NATO. Want Want…

- Ze! To be honest, there is not a single decent person there. Take anyone, pig ... And for your services they will give literally a penny. And you're still a girl, nothing! And you still have a little land and some rags from Soviet times. Do you want to buy drones from me? Good product, not American rot. Buy it, and I'll attach you to NATO.

- I would like to build them together, my whole Antonov aviation plant is idle.

- Well, you give it, Ze! Who will entrust you with secret technologies. They will leave for Moscow the next day. No, buy. Take new loans and buy. Then we'll talk about NATO.

- Recepic, I heard they are not happy with you. Well, against strengthening your powers. I'm talking about a referendum ...

- I told these giaours: if the Europeans oppose the strengthening of my powers, then let them be afraid to take to the streets. So they will accept, they will not go anywhere. Otherwise I'll take it and open the gates for refugees to Europe! I have 3 million of them in camps. Europeans cannot survive such a nightmare. So they will accept you into NATO. If I want, of course.

- I'm afraid, Recepic, that our friendship will go badly for me. You were friends with Assad, and then one night you made him an enemy.

- This Bashar thinks a lot about himself! Forgot that Syria was part of the Great Turan. Didn't want to come back. Now pays for it.

- And what about me? Islam-Girey was also in Crimea.

- Why look so far? Think about today. Throw up a spark in Donbass and Lugansk, we will sell as many weapons as necessary for this business, set Belarus on fire, we will also support. Drive Moscow by the nose. Get our trust. And the time will come, we will take you to our harem as a junior kept woman. Modestly, of course, but with the prospect of growth to wholesale trade in well-known services. We do not forget good deeds.

... Instead of an epilogue, a Ukrainian anecdote: "I look at the rulers of Ukraine and think: this is where Chernobyl came back to haunt"...

Photo: REUTERS

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