Oct 14, 2021
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What will protect us from covid: German sex, St. Petersburg fermented baked milk or Fergana tomatoes?

What will protect us from covid: German sex, St. Petersburg fermented baked milk or Fergana tomatoes?

Photo: Valery Matytsin / TASS

Wuhan Laboratories and Fort Detrick can be closed permanently. Their research is morally outdated rubbish, and moreover, requires significant costs. But Uzbek scientists (for some reason, the famous “British scientists” are immediately remembered) are the heroes of our time: they made a revolution in science by creating antique tomatoes.

“Employees of the Center for Genomics and Bioinformatics of the Academy of Sciences of Uzbekistan have developed an edible vaccine against coronavirus”, – said the respected Russian federal media, which has bureaux, sorry, hubs in the near and far abroad.

To create a vaccine, a cloned coronavirus is injected into a tomato cell. A person eats a “vaccinated” vegetable, and voila – antibodies are released from the cells of the tomato. No mysticism, just sleight of hand.

And then geneticists promise continuous benefits from a new method of vaccination. The main thing is that it is convenient and pain-free, no injections need to be done. This is very important for those who are ready to faint at the thought of a syringe and a needle. In addition, post-vaccination reactions should be weaker, which means there will be fewer side effects. Moreover, there is no need to organize vaccination centers, recruit medical personnel, ensure sterility – what a saving of money and nerves!

If we add that storage of “vaccinated” vegetables does not require any special conditions, and growing them is much cheaper and safer than producing vaccines, then such horizons will open and give that the Americans and the Chinese will be envious. Moreover, the experimentally grafted tomato bushes have already begun to bear fruit.

Why were tomatoes chosen for the experiment? Because tomatoes and cucumbers are the most consumed vegetables, most often raw. And this is a very important circumstance for this method of vaccination.

However, Head of the Department of the Research Institute of Epidemiology and Microbiology named after N. Gamaleya Alexander Butenko admitted the possibility of creating such a vaccine and said that currently such models are theoretically being developed using molecular genetic technologies. The key word is theoretically. The scientist stressed that Uzbekistan did not provide any data on the effectiveness of the vaccine, and, as you know, the distance from theory to practice is enormous.

Doctor of Medical Sciences, Professor, Academician of the Russian Academy of Natural Sciences Igor Gundarov reacted to the news about the creation of an “edible” vaccine extremely skeptical. He believes that theoretical calculations, not supported by research, in matters related to human life and health, are inappropriate and unacceptable:

– Three weeks ago I was asked to comment on the news: scientists allegedly proved that masturbation increases the level of antibodies in the body. They even organize courses on how to do it correctly, – says Academician Gundarov. – Yes, purely theoretically, we can assume that this process strengthens the immune system. But try to prove it! It’s the same with these tomatoes! Anything can be assumed. But to say that a new vaccine has been created, assumptions are not enough. It is still necessary to prove its effectiveness, and for this it is necessary to conduct serious research.

Igor Gundarov had in mind the message of the seemingly serious journal Health, which published the results of research by the Department of Medical Psychology at the Essen University Hospital (Germany). The researchers allegedly came to the conclusion that masturbation improves the body’s immune system and can be an additional means of preventing coronavirus, since “Granular lymphocytes during sexual arousal fight against tumor cells infected with coronavirus”… Since now every virologist is his own, we hope that not only doctors have understood the meaning of this phrase.

True, a study was carried out back in 2004, when they did not hear about such an attack as coronavirus. His “sensational” results unexpectedly surfaced in LiveJournal, and this time in a creatively reworked form, and went for a walk on the net. They were picked up by a couple of news agencies.

– Such publications discredit serious mass media, – Igor Gundarov considers. – Now there are so many fakes published about the covid, so much outright chatter that everyone is confused: both the authorities and the people. In an amicable way, you needed to create a Scientific Council, which would include experts on this issue, and consult with them before writing something.

Remember how the prices for ginger, lemons and garlic soared at the beginning of the pandemic, when information about their preventive properties was exaggerated? These products, of course, are very, very useful, but they are powerless against the coronavirus. But chain stores at that moment raised their prices by half, or even higher, while “pushing” an outright illiquid product, which has its place in the trash heap. But people bought it anyway. The power of the “fourth estate” in action, so to speak.

– Now the reputation of the media as a concept is practically absent, believes Director of the Levada Center *, Doctor of Philosophy Lev Gudkov, – or it is of a group nature. Separately – for the “Kremlin” pool, separately for the “alternative” press. Some are responsible to the Presidential Administration, others to the “society”. At the same time, the approach to the news agenda is often characterized by cynicism. I remember very well how one of the current television executives said that facts are what is communicated between two commercials. In some cases, the principle “everything is for sale,” in others – “what will you please?”, But today, in my opinion, there is no single professional ethics. Stories like this about ready-to-eat antique tomatoes will come up from time to time.

By the way, back in April of this year, there was information that a fermented milk anticoid vaccine had been developed at the Institute of Experimental Medicine (IEM) in St. Petersburg. In appearance and taste, it resembles fermented baked milk and is prepared easier than a steamed turnip: genetically modified bacteria are added to a vat of sour milk, and in about a day the vaccine is ready. Rabbits and rats like the leaven and eat with pleasure. The turn will reach people in about a year, after this “something” passes clinical trials. But it has already been stipulated that this vaccine will be contraindicated for those who suffer from food allergies.

* recognized as a foreign agent

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