When a person is taught from childhood that the personal is not the main thing, that it is a shame to think about oneself, he is afraid to be branded as an egoist. This person subordinates his life to the interests of others, and pushes his own interests into the background. Is living for yourself bad?
In the minds of most women, there is still the idea that thinking about yourself, taking care of yourself, loving yourself is selfishness. The echoes of the Soviet past do not let go of people who live and act from this mindset.
- They don’t let themselves rest.
- They deprive themselves of pleasure, joy.
- They please others.
- They put themselves in second, third, last place.
- They are ready to give a lot to others, and to deprive themselves.
All this and much more is done in order not to be a terry egoist. But, for some reason, this does not help to find harmony, happiness, or healthy relationships. It seems that everyone around is demanding, and you “must, must, must” .. It’s exhausting.
Living for yourself is a kind of skill that will inevitably be associated with shame, through which a subtle desire for something will grow. “What about me, could it be so?”, “Do I have the right to do this?”, “Is this normal?”.
Yes. Only this right can and should be returned. Then, in early childhood, this right was taken away by significant people. They wanted to see the child comfortable, correct and obedient. And they were not ready to face his spontaneity, restlessness and individuality.
Allow yourself to live for yourself
Let it be new, strange, unfamiliar, uncomfortable at first. But it will be YOUR life. You can endlessly revel in the emotions that are caused by an unsatisfactory relationship. You can endlessly save a person from his alcoholism or workaholism.
You can spend your only life endlessly on other people’s problems and their solution. And you can give yourself permission not to follow the life-poisoning scenarios, not to listen to the inner voice that yells: “think of others, we are everything to you …”. You can be free and live your life.