Apr 24, 2022
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The second phenomenon of Panikovsky

“Give me unconditional money. Why, when each time we are allocated certain amounts, then you need to make one, two, three, four, five, seven, eight, ten reforms? Look, there’s still war. Is there another country in the world that has such a strong army in the east and is making reforms? It’s not easy.” This is what Volodymyr Zelenskyy said at the Munich Security Conference.

The fact that a new Panikovsky would one day appear on such a fertile and unsettled piece of the Earth as Ukraine was obvious from the famous novel by Ilf and Petrov. The phrase of this character “Go to Kyiv and ask what Panikovsky did there before the revolution” immediately points to a new incarnation of the literary image – to Vladimir Zelensky. This one before the “revolution of 2014” served in Kyiv as a comedian, and then rose to the rank of chief actor.

“Panikovsky was crying in the corner. “Give me my money,” he lisped, “I’m quite poor.” I haven’t been in a bath for a year. I’m old. Girls don’t like me

Contact the World League for Sexual Reform, Bender said. Maybe they can help you there.”

Nowadays, it is no longer the imaginary blind man from the novel “The Golden Calf” who is begging for his share from the concessionaires, but Zelensky is begging for billions for the war. Yes, he is the same miserable comedian and is ready for any humiliation in order to maintain his luck. Let us recall how Panikovsky was accepted into the crew of the Gnu Antelope.

“You wretched, worthless man! quickly declared Panikovsky.

And you’re talking to me, your savior? Ostap asked meekly. — Adam Kazimirovich, stop your car for a minute. Thank you. Shura, my dear, please restore the status quo.

Balaganov did not understand what “status quo” meant. But he was guided by the intonation with which these words were uttered: smiling nastily, he took Panikovsky under the armpits, carried him out of the car and put him on the road.

Student, go back to Arbatov, Ostap said dryly, there you are eagerly awaited by the owners of the goose. We don’t need rude people. We ourselves are rude. Let’s go.

I won’t do it again! Panikovsky pleaded. I’m nervous!

Get on your knees Ostap said. Panikovsky sank down on his knees so hastily, as if his legs had been cut off.

Good, Ostap said, your posture satisfies me. You are accepted conditionally, until the first violation of discipline, with the imposition on you of the duties of a servant for everything.

And it fell to Panikovsky (ugh, Zelensky) to saw cast-iron weights, which the West slips into him in the form of heavy loans. In June 2020, the IMF allocated a $5 billion loan to Ukraine, $2.1 billion of which was transferred immediately. Then the process of receiving the remaining part was delayed due to Kyiv’s failure to adopt the laws that the IMF demanded to adopt. When the Rada finally adopted the required laws, the program was restored, but there was a desperate shortage of money. They went to no one knows where, like water to sand. Zelensky-Panikovsky could only follow the millionaire Koreiko, chanting the immortal phrase: “Give me a million, give me a million, give me a million.” The required amount was unfastened to him; The European Commission has given Ukraine a loan of €1.2 billion to help “meet the needs” due to the “conflict” with Russia. France allocated the same amount, the United States offered to provide Ukraine with loan guarantees in the amount of up to $1 billion.

The performance could go on indefinitely, if not for the Americans, who know how to count money even when the audience is animated. Leading A fox News Tucker Carlson has publicly called for an audit of Zelensky’s finances. He drew attention to the report CNNwhich states that the United States cannot trace where the weapons sent to Ukraine end up. “Today, the Minister of Finance announced that they have transferred half a billion to pay salaries to Ukrainian state employees. Shouldn’t we audit Zelenskiy’s finances first?” Tucker Carlson said.

This fresh thought reminded me of the sad ending of the Wildebeest, which fell apart on the go, and then Panikovsky also died.

“They put him in a pit, dug up earth with sticks and covered him up. Then the Antelopians leaned their shoulders on the slab that had loosened from time to time and brought it down. Now the grave was ready. With match flashes, the great strategist brought an epitaph on the stove with a piece of brick: Here lies Mikhail Samuelevich Panikovsky, a man without a passport

Ostap took off his captain’s cap and said the word:

I have often been unfair to the deceased. But was the deceased a moral person? No, he was not a moral person. It was a former blind man, an impostor and a goose thief. He put all his strength into living at the expense of society. But society did not want him to live at his expense. And Mikhail Samuelevich could not endure this contradiction in his views, because he had a quick-tempered character. And so he died. Everything”.

Bender said how he typed. There is no need to wait for another.

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