“Vanya and I have been living together for more than three years, and at last he decided to propose to me! All relatives are very happy for us. The only one who still ignores this event is my future mother-in-law, ”23-year-old Nadezhda shares her story.
“I sincerely don’t understand what is the matter! After all, before that, our relationship with her was quite warm. All this time they lived under one roof and not a single conflict, but here the mother-in-law seemed to be replaced … “
Many girls face similar problems on the eve of the wedding.
We propose together to find out the reason for the sharp change in the attitude of the future mother-in-law to the chosen one of her son and find out how to settle the brewing conflict.
“It all started from the day we applied to the registry office. I knew that my future mother-in-law was a rather pedantic woman, and did not expect too violent reaction from her. But I couldn’t even think that she would just pretend that nothing was happening and would not even drop a short “Congratulations” … “
“This behavior of hers really hurts me. One way or another, and the spouse’s family will have to live for about a year after the wedding, so that we can arrange a mortgage on our own house. And I would not at all want to be in a tense atmosphere all this time. “
“But how to improve relations with my mother-in-law, who pretends that I do not exist, I don’t understand,” Nadia shares the details.
For every girl, the upcoming wedding is a special occasion. And, of course, I would like your loved ones to share with you the joy and experiences in this regard. Everyone would like to hear congratulations and feel support from relatives. So anyone would be upset if it didn’t happen.
But do not hide your grievances and keep silent about your experiences. In such a situation, it is worth trying to understand the position of the future mother-in-law, because in the future your lives will be closely linked and it depends only on you what character this connection will carry.
A girl who finds herself in a similar situation should look at everything through the eyes of her mother-in-law. And then think about how their opinions on the main everyday issues can differ.
Maybe the mother-in-law initially did not want her son to bring the girl into the house and live with her under his father’s roof for such a long period of time. Maybe she doubts that you are going to move in the future, and is afraid that she will never be able to enjoy the pleasures of independent living in the most important years.
The housing issue is one of the most popular causes of family conflicts.
In such cases, it is worthwhile to clearly indicate your position. And also to agree in advance on the conditions of cohabitation in order to make it comfortable for everyone.
It is clear that the future mother-in-law will not be happy about the news of her son’s marriage if this event portends a violation of personal boundaries and her comfort zone.
Therefore, it is very important to analyze the situation, studying it in detail from all sides, and not based only on personal guesses.
Or maybe the situation is quite different. It is likely that the future mother-in-law is simply afraid of losing touch with her son, since now in his life she is not the only significant woman.
This behavior of the mother reflects her sadness and inner feelings. So it is worth helping her deal with them instead of accepting the position of the victim and taking offense.
A simple heart-to-heart conversation can help in such a matter better than anything.
Having expressed personal concerns and sympathizing with the feelings of her mother-in-law, the daughter-in-law will have the opportunity not only to improve their relationship, but also to enlist the support of an influential ally for many years.
What do you think, is it possible to resolve the conflict with the mother-in-law with the help of ordinary dialogue? It would be very interesting to know your opinion on this issue in the comments. So we will look forward to them.