It is generally accepted that all women have a maternal instinct. Almost born with him. First they play with dolls, then they are moved at the sight of other people’s children. Having matured, they agitate with their own, and almost to old age they are protected and taken care of.
But what about those who send their children to orphanages? An exception to the rule, people with mental disorders. Usually they think of them that way. Or they are simply called inhuman. Because it cannot be that a loving mother would give up a child.
But how to explain the psychology of women who give birth to children, live with them, but remain indifferent to them? And they do not feel at all that quivering maternal love described in the books.
One of these indifferent women came to see the psychologist Katerina Murashova and this is what she said: “I don’t exactly“ don’t like them ”in the sense of“ I don’t like them ”. If they were shown to me from the side or just to talk and play, I would most likely even like them. And like this, when every day … Correct, probably, so to speak: I am simply indifferent to them. If I could, I would give them to someone. Like kittens. “
The woman was quite attractive. I have never experienced a shortage of boyfriends. She got married right after school. She gave birth to two children. The husband insisted. At first, she liked her husband’s extraordinary affection, his worship and the fear of losing her. And then I wanted to play with the family.
She was bored, she asked her husband to sit with the children, and she herself went for a walk in the park. There she met her new man. Caucasian nationality, rich enough, smart, but married.
The woman divorced her first husband, began to live in the apartment bought by the boyfriend. But she never married him, because despite all the promises of his family, he never left his family for her. But while she was waiting for this wonderful moment, she gave birth to two babies. So she turned into a mother of four children.
The most interesting thing is that when the psychologist asked her why she considers her life boring and whether she is interested in anything in life except children, the woman gave a very unexpected answer:
“I have no interests. Well, if only men. They fascinate me. They fascinate me. Not for long, really. Now there is one, an artist. He was very seriously carried away by me. But he says: four children is too much. If you had at least two guys, then I would have decided on everything. Well, I understand him. And there seem to be no other interests. “
Childhood trauma. If a girl was not loved in childhood, neglected, did not pay attention, then it is unlikely that, having matured, she will be able to show love for her own children. She had no example to show her what a happy family should look like.
A poorly developed instinct for self-preservation leads to a weakening of the maternal instinct. After all, giving birth to children, we think about procreation, and taking care of them, about its preservation. If a person does not care whether he is alive or not, then all the more he will be indifferent to the relatives around him.
And finally, the psychological factor. A child is a small person. If after birth it is enough to breastfeed him, put him to bed on time, and so on, then after a while you have to communicate with him as a separate person and devote time to his development.
And if a woman is not interested in anything, she is not interested in herself, if a woman does not love anyone, maybe she doesn’t know how to love in principle, then how can she fall in love with this little man? It was this woman who was incapable of a relationship and came to see the psychologist Katerina Murashova.