Most women who are unable to have a child of their own dream of adoption. Some just want to have a child in the family, while others want to help lonely and abandoned children, want to help them find a family and return a carefree and cheerful childhood.
This is also the dream of those women who already have their own children. A woman is usually the first to talk to her husband about adoption, but there are cases when the man himself is the initiator of the adoption. Of course, it’s great when both the wife and the husband think about the same thing. But, most often, one of the spouses dreams of a foster child, and the other spouse does not give consent. This, of course, does not mean at all that he is not interested in the fate of the orphanage child and does not mean that this person is cruel, he is simply different. The spouse who did not give consent to adoption looks at the world with different eyes, he has completely different plans for life and the child does not fit into them. Very often a very responsible person refuses, who understands that a child is not a toy, he needs not only to be fed and clothed, he also needs to be given a good upbringing, spend a lot of time with him, and many people just do not have enough time.
But what to do if you dream of helping a child from an orphanage, and your spouse refuses to even talk about this topic? How to force him to adopt a child if he is completely unwilling to support your intentions?
It must be said that, in fact, it is difficult for men to get used to some new situation, especially if the man is already aged. He is accustomed to a certain situation in the house, to a certain arrangement of things and routine. Therefore, no eloquent emotions and deadly logical reasoning in his address will help you.
Even if you give many vivid examples of adoption, you will not achieve anything for the reason that the child must be desired to be adopted not with the mind, but with the heart. Of course, you can use tears and blackmail to force your husband to take the baby from the orphanage, but imagine a poor child who will constantly face the callousness of your husband, will constantly feel how your husband will treat his children, and will not pay attention to the adopted child.
If you see that there is no way to adopt a baby, you can help him without adoption. If you have no children at all, even your own, the situation becomes more complicated. Usually husbands in such families are a little selfish, they do not want to hear not only about other people’s children, but also about their own – in the future. You look at pregnant women with envy, you become lonely and very sad. Try to talk to your husband sincerely, tell him that you really want to have a child from him.
Some men are afraid to talk about the birth of their own child, as they are afraid that this will lead to very high costs that they will not “pull”. These are very responsible men, perhaps. Perhaps your husband is not yet confident in the future, in his work, try to repeat the conversation later, when things get better for him. Maybe he’ll even start the conversation first. But there are some men who, in principle, do not want to have children. They prefer to give gifts to their spouse, go out with her to a restaurant, go out into nature for a vacation together, he gives all his strength to work. Such a man has no place in his soul for another person, even for his unborn child. It is useless to talk with such a man and you should not count on the fact that in old age he will feel loneliness and will talk to you about the child himself, such people usually do not change their opinion throughout their lives. You then have three options. In the first case, you can disobey and give birth to a child for him, but then he can leave both you and the child. In the second case, if you love your husband, put up with this state of affairs. Well, in the third, if you don’t really love your spouse, you can get a divorce and find a man who thinks the same way as you.