You wander unhurriedly across the Internet in an absolutely calm and happy state, and suddenly – on you! Someone’s cry from the soul catches the eye. You read, delve into, and it becomes clear that it is not without reason. The topic is really quite scrupulous, close to many. Like it or not, but in a few years people get used to each other, and therefore the relationship of the former spouses can continue after the divorce.
Often this is what becomes a litmus test for people who come to the already overgrown battlefield that once raged between the two. And when a new life of completely different emotions begins to sprout on him, out of nowhere suddenly appears the old ghost of an ended relationship. He pours himself wine, greets his relatives and generally behaves as if nothing had happened.
In general, the relationship between a man and a woman, especially if they were previously linked by marriage, is always somewhat more complicated than others. It is quite difficult to take sides here, because how many people, so many opinions. Subjective opinions.
– The situation is this: my common-law husband has an ex-wife. Were married for 3 years, a child. Divorced because she gave him horns. We have been together for 5 years, and there is a child (he does not want to marry, he says that this is a passed stage). But! His relatives call the ex to all weddings anniversaries. She goes to visit his relatives for no reason. He does not take me with him, because he knows that she will be there too. In fact, I find out that he and she went for a walk with one of his relatives.
I explain that this is not normal, cry, swear, scandal – all to no avail. He says that his relatives are doing this, but he has nothing to do with it. And he himself believes that there is nothing wrong with the fact that he communicates with her during a feast over a glass or two, he does not sleep with her. For me this is wildness, all this does not fit in my head! I do not know what to do. On the one hand, you want a normal family, on the other hand, you want to drive him out to his relatives.
The tension of the young woman is felt in every word, it is absolutely clear that the situation seems to her alarming. Would she have brought her doubts to the public, to the human judgment? Let’s find out what others think about it.
– I got the feeling that, despite the fact that you have a common child, he does not take you seriously. Relatives call her, knowing that he has a common-law wife. This is strange. How they are brought together. Maybe he still has feelings for her, and they know about it?
– Her name is because she is a wife, although she is an ex. And you are a concubine whom he does not even want to marry. Parents may have such a thing. Wife – she is a wife in Africa, albeit a former one, the mother of their grandson.
– In fact, it all depends on the mentality and relationships in each individual family. I personally know these: husband and wife divorced when the child was 5 years old. It was 25 years ago. Then both created their families, they still communicate together, they almost go to visit each other. A common child because, although he has grown up already. Depends on the nature of the people: someone does not pay attention to it at all, it has been and has passed. And you, the more you focus on these points, the worse you only do to yourself.
– For everyone I know, the husband’s relatives accept a new wife for all anniversaries and so on, and the former is the last stage and visits the former mother-in-law at another time. More often than not, congratulations on the phone, and grandchildren are rarely given to former father-in-law. You are not perceived corny because you are not a wife. I do not know what kind of relationship you have there, but it is clear from your post that he does not consider you a wife.
– Author, think about it. It suits him. Arranges communication with his ex-wife, maybe he is pleased to communicate with her and sit with relatives with their common child, like a family. I don’t understand why you need to put up with it? This is not normal. You yourself know: you are poured out and not accepted into the family at the suggestion of your man!
I would very much like to help understand everyone who finds themselves in a similar situation. After all, we all deserve only the best: we always want to know that relationships have a future. In our opinion, the most important thing is not to enter into a dependent relationship, not to sacrifice your happiness and freedom. If you have an opinion on this, please share it in the comments. Perhaps it can give someone strength or dot the i’s.