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Dec 31, 2020
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Gennady Zyuganov: Here is the Russian spirit, here the virus is withering away

Photo: Gennady Zyuganov

Photo: Gennady Zyuganov (Photo: Global Look Press)

In 2020, the coronavirus pandemic has become the No. 1 phobia for Russians. This follows from the “National Anxiety Index” prepared by the Public Relations Development Company.

In all 85 constituent entities of the Russian Federation, the risk of infection has become one of the three main phobias, and in 69 regions it topped the rating. In most subjects, the top fears were the socio-economic consequences of the pandemic: the crisis, loss of jobs and income, falling living standards. Quarantine measures were included in the top three in 29 regions, a lack of medical care or a shortage of drugs – in 18 regions.

Disasters, environmental problems and police brutality that worried residents in 2019 faded into the background for them against the backdrop of COVID-19 and its consequences.

In such a situation, humor will help to survive, says the chairman of the Central Committee of the Communist Party, the head of the Communist Party faction in the State Duma. Gennady Zyuganov

– We are going through extremely difficult times, sometimes you don’t know whether to laugh or cry, – notes Communist Party leader Gennady Zyuganov… – What to do: laughter and tears go hand in hand, and life makes you remember something funny, sometimes sad, almost a philosophical anecdote. It helps to get out of trials, if not with a smile, then with a calm expression.

People who can laugh in difficult circumstances – and not only at others, but also at themselves – are happy people. They are able not only to withstand a lot, but also to draw serious conclusions from the most outlandish cases and life circumstances.

But there is game going on. Instead of focusing the efforts of the authorities and medicine on helping those groups of people who are really under threat, and giving the rest of society the opportunity to live normally and work fully, officials are striving to put all Russians in hospital beds. And let the country with its affairs and concerns go to hell!

But you can’t, figuratively speaking, if someone has a stomach ache, give an enema to the whole country! The tragedy really turns into a cruel farce!

The coronavirus is a kind of reason for a close and interested assessment of our real life. It looks like there will be many more such epidemics, and a smile and anecdote will help us to meet them with dignity. Because only when we think and laugh, we exist.

***

The dog has the right to walk one person. The person must be muzzled, with a document and on a leash.

***

Two dogs meet. “What are you so tired?” “There are 60 apartments in the house, and everyone wants to take a walk with me – they beat off all their heels. Why are you so happy? ” “And I’m glad – finally, people have begun a dog’s life: everyone walks in muzzles!”

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In fact, the coronavirus was invented by dogs so that their beloved owners walk along the street with them all day.

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In Moscow, the first relaxation of quarantine is coming: residents will be allowed to walk around houses not only clockwise, but also against.

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Somehow imperceptibly the time has come when there is more entertainment in the village than in the city.

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Two pensioners meet. “Did you stock up on medications for the time of self-isolation?” “No, where can I get them! I remember from Soviet times: the best medicines are communication and movement, but they are just banned! “

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After trying to infect Waiting for Norris the coronavirus was forced to spend two weeks in strict isolation.

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For thirty years and three years Ilya Muromets lay on the stove – such a feat of self-isolation had never been known to Russia. But then he got up and gave the adversary heat!

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Terrible times: people have to wash their hands, cook food at home and communicate only with their children. Horror – so it can come to reading books!

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Third week under lock and key. Accidentally got into a conversation with his wife – turned out to be an interesting and intelligent person.

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Friends brag after the New Year in self-isolation. “I celebrated the holiday in the Bahamas so gorgeous.” “And I was with such a beauty!” They, like me, drank alone in the kitchen. Only I didn’t smoke.

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“How are you going to spend your summer?” “June and July we will sit at home, and in August we plan to go to the store. At least once – maybe they won’t get caught! “

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It was the fourth month of quarantine. Working for food was not yet prestigious, but it was no longer ashamed.

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Armenian radio is asked: when the virus passes, will we live well? “She, guys, we already lived well!”

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“How do you feel about all this mess with the virus?” “They made some porridge, but soon there will be nothing to eat!”

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One burglar to another: “You and I will probably soon be unemployed. Wherever you poke – everywhere people sit at home! “

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Dear parents, we kindly ask you to donate money by the end of the week to repair the online school.

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Moscow, two policemen catch self-isolation violators. One checks everyone in a row – and everything goes by. The second is optional and to the point. “Sidorov, reveal the secret, how do you know them?” “Let me give you a hint: in Moscow, hairdressers have been closed for a month!”

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In Belarus, whose president is called a dictator, in the spring of 2020 there was more freedom than in all European countries combined.

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The motion picture “I Walk Through Moscow” has been declared extremist.

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Attention! The film contains scenes of handshaking, touching the face and being outside for no good reason!

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Everyone who has lived a month of quarantine without violations will receive another month of imprisonment at home as a gift!

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A guy comes to work and says to his colleagues: “Do you know the store across the street? There, when measuring the temperature, the memory is erased! Yesterday I went there for milk – and returned with vodka, beer and roach! “

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“Write: the cause of death is coronavirus.” “Doctor, right there a firearm!” “Yes, this is a concomitant disease.”

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A pilgrim is walking towards the coronavirus. “Where are you going?” “I am going to punish for sins, people are mired in theft and corruption.” After a while they meet again. “Well, how?” “I took one out of a hundred, the rest disappeared from panic and fear.”

***

The prosecutor is walking, laughing. Towards a colleague: “What are you laughing at?” “Yes, a joke about the coronavirus!” “Tell me!” “Yeah, right now – I just gave a hard worker eight years for him!”

***

A man calls his wife on his mobile: “Katya, I’m in the store. What to take? ” “Are you wearing a mask?” “But how!” “Take the cash register!”

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