Sep 6, 2021
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Election desman in a flower pot

Election desman in a flower pot

Photo: Konstantin Kokoshkin / Global Look Press

The elections to the State Duma are already in two weeks, and the ratings of the majority of the pro-Kremlin parties are still lagging behind the results shown in the election of the current deputies.

Not surprisingly, the candidates went all out to attract their favorite voters to the ballot boxes. The leaders of the United Russia list are especially trying the Minister of Defense Sergei Shoigu and foreign minister Sergey Lavrov… Last time, 54.3% of those who came to the ballot boxes officially voted for the party, and now only 34% are ready. It will be a shame if the most charming and attractive members of the government perform worse than the popular object of ridicule of the ex-prime minister removed from the list. Dmitry Medvedev!

Shoigu decided to attract voters with a fantastic project to build five new cities with a population of one million in Siberia and the Far East.

It was not possible to inspire young people with a huge amount of plans and to excite pensioners with nostalgia for the Komsomol construction projects. Sergei Kuzhugetovich was stabbed in the back by a seemingly proven ally – Presidential Envoy for the Far Eastern Federal District, Deputy Prime Minister Yuri Trutnev… Answering the question of “Rossiyskaya Gazeta” about the idea of ​​his colleague, Trutnev stated the need to put in order the already existing cities, where there is no end of work. Minister for the Development of the Far East and the Arctic Alexey Chekunkov for his part, he proposed to create a million-strong agglomeration on the basis of Vladivostok and Artyom, and not in an open field.

The Far Eastern ministers are absolutely right, and Shoigu himself confirmed them. While ranting about five millionaire megacities, he simultaneously complained that in today’s Russia it is impossible to build Komsomolsk-on-Amur. As you know, this city began to be built on May 10, 1932, and only half a century later its population exceeded 300 thousand people. Despite the fact that the population of the USSR was constantly growing and Siberia and the Far East were mastered. So what are the plans for grandiose urban planning in Russia, where 512.5 thousand more died in January-July than were born? That’s right, a broken penny on a market day!

Exactly the same price for Sergey Lavrov’s surprise speech in defense Stalin… If he was really concerned about the problems of the image of the Soviet leader, he should have spoken five years ago, when the press secretary of the Ministry of Foreign Affairs Maria Zakharova stated that he should burn in hell twice as brightly as other dictators with a clear hint of Hitler… However, Lavrov kept silent then, because he did not care about Stalin. It’s just that now the leader’s admirers from the communists need to be lured away, so he spoke at a meeting with war veterans in Volgograd.

Say, “Attacks on Stalin as the main villain, the lumping together of everything that he did in the pre-war period, during, after the war – this is also part of the same attack on our past, on the results of World War II”

Later, Lavrov had to make excuses:

“Some figures in our opposition, opposition media <…> Then they began to say that “Lavrov justifies the crimes of Stalinism.” This is despicable, ”he said. According to him, such provocations are doomed to failure, since the Russian people are “richer and smarter.”

“In fact, I said the following:“ Those who demand to perceive Stalin as an absolute evil, without any nuances, who demand to consider him and Hitler as the only culprits of the Second World War, thereby want to put our country and those who who set out to conquer Europe, and we Europe was saved – from conquest, from destruction – and many peoples were saved “, – said Lavrov at a meeting with representatives of national and cultural associations.

“EdRo” in general within the framework of this election campaign pulled into the past. Apparently, there is nothing particularly joyful in the present, and the future is hidden in a fog. Therefore, we decided to play on history.

For example, the same Lavrov took part in the opening of a monument to the holy noble prince Alexander Nevsky, which is installed on the territory of the temple at the Moscow State Institute of International Relations. It was not even concealed here that the monument was erected precisely for the elections. Sergei Viktorovich was accompanied by the Secretary of the General Council of “United Russia”, the first vice-speaker of the Federation Council Andrey Turchak, and at the end of the note, the top five of the candidate list were advertised on the party website.

Only it turned out somehow ambiguous: Alexander Nevsky is known among the people primarily as a commander. As a diplomat, he basically negotiated with the Golden Horde about the payment of tribute by the defeated Russian principalities and the issuance of Horde labels to their rulers for reigning. Or is Lavrov hinting that in the future Russia will start paying levies to the United States or China, and its presidents will be approved in foreign capitals? Then the experience of Alexander Yaroslavovich for the successors of Sergei Viktorovich, who are now studying at MGIMO, is certainly necessary.

The candidates from “United Russia” are not lagging behind and their rivals, putting forward ideas, one more interesting than the other.

A Just Russia, balancing on the brink of departure from the State Duma, remembered the experience of its leader Sergei Mironov, who, before the 2003 elections, called for the rescue of a particularly valuable fur-bearing animal, the Russian desman, from extermination. Now he wants to see a hedgehog as a party symbol, and a member of the Duma faction “Fair Russia” Oleg Nilov took up the protection of flowers.

He suggested that on September 1, not bouquets, but flower pots, should be brought to school. What to do with hundreds of pots, the number of which will grow every year, Mr. Nilov did not say, although he is a very experienced politician. He worked as the secretary of the district committee of the Komsomol, became (without serving in the army) one of the leaders of the Union of Veterans of the War in Afghanistan, now he saves tulips with gladioli. True, since they are grown specifically for bouquets, the deputy can just as well protect incubator chickens from getting into the soup.

By the way, the results of the action to save the Russian desman are unknown – you can’t ask the animal, but the trend of this quasi-batch was determined from the very beginning. True, the Social Revolutionaries now migrated from zoology towards applied botany.

Before the last elections, the Rosta party claimed the votes of small and medium-sized businessmen, but did not succeed: a pitiful 1.29% of the vote and not a single mandate. Moreover, law enforcement agencies have planted a pig: the party leader is the presidential commissioner for the protection of the rights of entrepreneurs Boris Titov urged to return from abroad trapped in criminality, businessmen, and they began to imprison them, contrary to his promises!

Therefore, we decided to go on feminism, which is fashionable in Europe. We put in the first three ladies: a regional deputy, known in narrow circles for clipmaking and the wife of a construction magnate who has become disabled. We certainly do not have Europe, but maybe a couple of tenths of a percent of the party’s queens will be added.

However, the best circus act was split off by the candidate for the Legislative Assembly of the Kaliningrad region from the “United Russia” Dmitry Zabolotny… He asked his fellow countrymen to support himself in order to help rid the party of “Pedophiles, cocaine nostrils and rear wheel drive”… Former head of the Kaliningrad party executive committee Maxim Suvorov indeed, he was arrested on charges of child molestation, and many prominent functionaries “bears” were sentenced to between 6 and 20 years for this. Therefore, the two-time world champion in combat sambo is not so wrong. And everyone looks more fun than the advocates of breeding desman in flower pots.

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