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Oct 15, 2021
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Doctor Komarovsky about unruly children

Doctor Komarovsky about unruly children

Who is to blame for the fact that the child behaves like a fiend of hell, and what to do if the child categorically refuses to obey.

Uncontrollable children are a headache not only for parents, but for everyone around them. They do not obey anyone, remarks are deafening, they ignore generally accepted norms of behavior in society. In connection with the sore subject, Dr. Komarovsky about uncontrollable children asked the child psychologist Angela Babadzhanova about what to do if your child is uncontrollable.

The main complaint is against the parents

No matter how unhappy the parents may look, trying to shove all responsibility for the terrible behavior onto the child, Dr. Komarovsky still believes that the main fault for the actions of the children lies with mom and dad.

The doctor wonders how to behave with children at a clinic appointment, if he, the doctor, has to persuade the child to open his mouth for 20 minutes, and the mother behaves as if nothing had happened, as if the child is “king” here.

What to do with unruly children and where do they come from?

All unruly children were once controllable, and then, most often during periods of crisis, the child becomes disobedient and uncontrollable.

This usually manifests itself as follows: the child refuses to eat, not because he is not hungry, but because he simply does not want to do what his parents demand of him. This is how negativism and rebelliousness are manifested, as an attempt to defend their right to freedom. Thus, the child tests strength. But the kid must always understand that there are rules that cannot be broken – for his own safety.

Rule # 1 for parents: if something is not allowed, then it should not always be, not from time to time.

The child should understand that mom and dad always keep their word. And if you can’t eat sweets before lunchtime, then you can’t always eat them before lunchtime, and not just today or tomorrow.

If you prohibit something, and then give in anyway, then the child will simply ignore your prohibitions, which he is “out of hand”.

Dr. Komarovsky on unruly children: rules are needed to make the child feel safe. If you allow your baby to do everything, he simply will not realize that there are dangerous things.

Rule number 2 for parents: you need to start educating from birth, and not later to correct the consequences of permissiveness.

It is easier to prevent sad consequences than to correct them later. The child is always a reflection of the parents. Therefore, before blaming the baby for bad behavior, you must first look at the parents, because it is the closest environment that causes deviations in the behavior of children.

Rule number 3 for parents: if a child is constantly capricious, crying, uncontrollable, he is tormented by insomnia, and this all lasts more than a week regularly – this is a “bell” that it is time to consult a psychologist.

If a child becomes uncontrollable one time, there is nothing wrong with that. You just need to devote more time to the child, talk to him, understand what prompted him to such behavior. Komarovsky says about uncontrollable children that if such symptoms are observed for a week or more, if tantrums have become regular, and the baby has become constantly crying, then this indicates that the parents are no longer able to cope with the situation and their family needs the help of a family or child psychologist.

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