Have you ever wondered why some people are considered spoiled of fate, which makes everything easy , others call themselves losers who do not shine anything good in life? They criticize themselves, feeling that they are unworthy of the best, because some are “not like that”: stupid, ugly, disorganized, unknowing … This list can be continued, but in fact there is no such set of qualities that would create an unsuccessful person, all it’s a way of thinking.
To one degree or another, fear of new thing, each of us experienced insecurity, even people who from the outside seem to be the embodiment of success. It's all about scale. And if you are not able to defend your opinion, repulse ill-wishers, embark on a dream project or tell your sympathy object about your feelings – this is an occasion to reconsider your attitude to life. It turns out that in order to become a confident person, it is not at all necessary to change one’s place of residence, to inherit a huge amount of money, to successfully marry or to enlarge a breast. All that is needed is to change your mind about yourself.
Remember the movie “Pretty Woman” with Amy Schumer in the title role? The heroine achieved career and personal success, believing that she magically became a stunning beauty. And she began to behave accordingly. And although those around her still saw the chubby little fake in front of her, she could not help but charge them with her confidence. Over time, they began to perceive her exactly as she positioned herself. And for the heroine Amy at the end of the film, it became a revelation that in fact she achieved what she wanted without a magical external transformation, just feeling attractive and bright.
I still have a nightmare that I pass the physical education exam. At school, the news that we were running a three-kilometer cross today caused me a state of panic. I came up with all kinds of excuses not to go to the lesson, because I was sure that I would not run cross. What was wrong? Why I stopped and left the race in its half – I can not understand. After all, she was a normal, healthy child. I don’t remember when the first failure happened, and I began to consider myself an unsportsmanlike girl, but I was very fixated on this. Also, the physicist added fuel to the fire, constantly teasing me about my weakness and clumsiness. But in the eleventh grade, the question arose: I went to the gold medal, and only the damned physical education pulled me down. And then it turned out that the problem was not worth a damn. My friend and I started to run in the mornings. After two months, I flew these three kilometers like a bird. Fear, the embodiment of which was a physicist with a stopwatch, no longer fettered me. I remember his bewildered face when flushed, but happy, I ran to the finish line. At that moment when you overcome yourself, your complexes, as if a certain valve opens, and you are overflowing with the energy of joy. “I can!” At the institute, I already participated in competitions defending the honor of my native university, and then sport was always present in my life.
Unsure people, as a rule, get hung up on their failures and do not notice achievements. But in fact it turns out that everything is not so bad. In order to help yourself, it is worth starting to write down your thoughts. You think you are stupid, but how can you know that? Perhaps this was confirmed by Marya Ivanovna in a mathematics lesson? But not everyone is to be Sophia Kovalevsky, it is very likely that your mind manifests itself in something else, and there are much more arguments that you are really smart? What facts from your life can confirm this? It is useful to take a piece of paper and, dividing it into three parts, in one column write your positive qualities that you can be proud of, in the other – your successes and achievements, and in the third – those areas where you could show your skills.
We often limit ourselves, not even daring to start a new business, project – We are worried that we are not competent enough. But when the famous American self-development coach Anthony Robbins was asked what was the secret of his success, he said that any business always starts with one hundred percent confidence that he will achieve the desired result. And only then does he master the skills and competencies necessary to implement his plan. Most of us do exactly the opposite, and sometimes, regularly attending various continuing education courses, we still do not dare to ask the authorities to transfer to a more responsible and highly paid job.