Although the internet is chock-full of offers from fake QR code dealers, as a law-abiding citizen, I decided to get a real one. For which he went to the district clinic, anticipating problems in advance. After picking up a coronovirus and calling a doctor, I saw him on the threshold of the apartment only 22 days later, although in double size. The first doctor insisted that he was referred to my father, and then announced that everything was fine with me and the remnants of the infection would leave the body when Allah allowed. The second took the analysis and disappeared in an unknown direction, without reporting the results. Not surprisingly, the first Kafka-style dialogue took place at the reception desk.
– Where are you going?
– To receive a QR code, as if you had been ill.
– So you already have!
– Well, here it is on the paper that is in your hands.
– This is the result of the test, according to which I was diagnosed with covid. And the QR code is not mine, but the laboratory that took it.
– Yes? Well, go see a therapist…
The therapist thoughtfully studied my file on the computer and said that he would not give out the code.
– According to the analysis for July 30, you are healthy.
– Yes, while you were traveling to me for three weeks, I recovered! But here is the analysis for July 8 – I was sick of it.
— This is not our analysis, so it is invalid.
– What am I supposed to do?
– Get vaccinated.
– Six months have not passed yet, I have the right to receive a QR code as a recovered person.
“According to our records, you were not sick.
Wanting to know what to do, I called the St. Petersburg Health Committee. He was sent to the health committee of the Moskovsky district, but it was not possible to contact him. They refused to take the phone there, they basically didn’t take it at all, and judging by the reviews, not only from me. The omniscient Internet advised me to take an antibody test, and I again went to the district clinic. I learned that they do not provide such a service and that you need to turn to paid medicine again. I applied, received it, and was happy to see that at the rate of 150 units of binding antibodies per milliliter of biological fluid, I have almost 4400! Well, now, they will definitely give it out! Yeah, I was dreaming: they sent me to the deputy head physician. I went and heard that the code is still not allowed.
– What’s wrong again?
– These antibodies do not show when you were sick … Maybe a long time ago? And in general, according to our data, you have not been diagnosed with covid!
– While the doctor was traveling from you for three weeks, I recovered!
“Three weeks… Strange… Are you sure you called?”
– I even called you personally, but no one picked up the phone in this office! Do you want to see a printout of calls?
– No need … But how can you prove that you have suffered a coronavirus?
— I have a test from the lab for July 8, only your therapist didn’t like it.
– Yes, it seems like a normal test … Wait in the corridor, we will consult … Lenochka, call Masha!
Having studied all the certificates, the council decided to issue a certificate, but it seems that there are fewer and fewer people as patient as I am. Especially if you take into account the roads covered with icy potholes, along which you can easily go to the polyclinic to get a QR code and get to the emergency room with a broken leg. Well, when you get out of it, find out that you suffered in vain, because everything was canceled due to mass protests.
Could this happen? Easy! Already, the law on the ban on appearing without a code in public places, including urban transport, has been withdrawn from consideration in the State Duma and sent for revision. This happened under the influence of protests and passive resistance, including in St. Petersburg. The Association of Cinema Owners is demanding the abolition of the ban on visits to screenings by “uncoded” viewers, and is threatening to complain to the prosecutor’s office. According to the Internet portal “Paper”, over a hundred cafes and bars are boycotting the codes, and many more establishments ignore them without announcing it publicly. The St. Petersburg Metropolis defiantly refused the codes for visitors to temples. Well, and where they are still checked, very often they do it so carelessly that even the most artisanal fakes work.