Let at least one backward country remain in the world!
Yesterday a heated discussion took place at our courtyard round table, which is usually used for battles with dominoes. It all began with the fact that the grandson of Kuzmishchev’s grandfather brought the news that the first transgender bishop in history was elected in San Francisco. This little boy dabbles in the Internet and knows everything. He also told us that before it was a woman, but now she has turned into a man and will be in charge of as many as two hundred parishes.
We dropped the dominoes and took the news under scrutiny. With the help of the neighborhood boys and their gadgets, they found out that the new bishop’s name is Megan Rohrer, he has a family, and he sings American folk songs on television in a mezzo-soprano voice.
Grandfather Kuzmishchev immediately declared that this was violence against nature. If you are a man, then sing in a manly voice. How could it be otherwise? Now, if the deacon, Father Philemon, a man of heroic proportions, begins to sing in our Trinity Church in the voice of a mezzo-soprano, then a strong storm will rise among the parishioners and especially the parishioners who love his roar. They don’t need such progress.
– But progress cannot be stopped, – objected to him another expert, also an inveterate dominator Samosadov. And he developed his thought: – Why do women become transgender and become men? Because they are tired of tormenting their unenviable female share. Because they are exposed to household use.
Samosadov’s thesis did not find support, because none of the experts wanted to turn his wife into a man. Better to be exploited.
A special protest was expressed by the oldest group of experts, which with age began to go to the temple of God. These experts with the names Lyamkin, Mulin and Sosulin raised a uniform cry. For them to meet in the church a priest who had recently been a woman seemed wild and unacceptable.
– And how am I going to confess to her in the deeds of my sinners? – shouted Lyamkin. – But will she understand my deep motivation when, for example, I plunged into the abyss of debauchery with my neighbor Evdokia? Father Fyodor, for example, understood me and said: go, repent, servant of God. But no more.
And what will she say? After all, these are snakes!
Expert Mulin, who fought for the title of junior researcher all his life at the Institute of Applied Demography, approached the problem from a different angle.
– Of course, this Megan Rohrer’s personal life did not work out. It can’t be that she just let herself be repainted. Apparently, her husband beat her, so much so that she wanted to give him the change. Now their forces are equal. So from the point of view of emancipation, everything is in order. And if, for example, she finds herself a new pair, then she can turn back.
– I don’t want to call you a fool, – Sosulin told him, who worked all his life as a firefighter and on duty read from cover to cover the district library. – Isn’t it a matter of emancipation, won’t it be remembered by nightfall? The fact is that the Holy Scriptures, and hence Jesus Christ, forbid the assimilation of a man and a woman. Do you understand this subtlety? Okay, let the unbelievers invent their 50 varieties of sex and sew on themselves any organs they want. If they have reached this point, let them walk the streets like goats. But the priest is strictly forbidden. Strictly, Moulin!
– And Megan Rohrer said that God loves everyone, and transgender people too, – interjected Kozlishchev-grandson, – they have no dissatisfied there.
– It’s clear, – Samosadov sighed, – they fled forward with their gender equality. They walk the streets with their flags, rejoice, sing songs. Now they will hang their flags in the temples.
– And they will call these temples something special, for example, the Temple of the Cross and the Rainbow. Although, probably, we are rushing things. That’s when in the Roman curia transgender people form the majority, then the real end of the world will begin, – said Sosulin.
– Do you think that the Pope will be appointed from among his own? – Mulin was surprised.
– Be sure to appoint, – answered Sosulin. – This is where everything goes.
– And what about us? We have lagged behind them forever. Shame on the whole world! – exclaimed Samosadov.
– It’s good that forever, – summed up Sosulin. – So it is calmer. And then my nerves weakened. If I see you, Samosadov, in a woman’s dress, I will definitely get a heart attack. And if Father Fyodor turns into a lady, I won’t survive it. Let at least one backward country remain in the world. Ours, for example.
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