“Expect nothing and you will never be disappointed.” You must have heard this saying? When we live with hope, it encourages us to move forward and never give up. But when hopes are tied to other people, we run the risk of being disappointed. After all, we have no control over these things. They are not directly dependent on us.
What is our mistake?
We want others to love us the way we love. We hope that all our dreams will come true. We expect others to respond in the same way that we might. In short, we want others to feel the way we do. But that will never happen. And when it doesn’t, we feel like our world is falling apart.
The fact that people do not do what we expect from them does not mean that they are bad. Sometimes people cannot live up to our expectations (the strength of their capabilities. Or they simply cannot respond the way we want.
Accepting this as a fact will allow us to better adapt to our environment.
How to learn to be happy
Philosopher William James, the founder of functional psychology, developed several theories about how to be happy. The essence of the main theory is that we should minimize our expectations.
Of course it’s difficult. Especially when it comes to personal relationships. Someone who expects too much from others ends up resenting or blaming others for not living up to their expectations. This makes it difficult to build strong relationships.
Why is it better not to expect anything from others?
When something unexpected happens, we will be pleasantly surprised. Think about the last time you were happy when someone did something nice for you for no reason. Such spontaneous things make us happy.
Here are 6 things you should never expect from others
1. Don’t expect others to always agree with you.
Your opinions and beliefs come from your upbringing and personal experience. It’s different for every person. Therefore, it is foolish to expect that others should have the same opinion as you. We should not understand each other and agree on everything. This is not the purpose of our life.
2. Don’t expect others to respect you more than you respect yourself.
Loving ourselves is the first step to making others love us. Why should others respect you if you don’t respect yourself? Let’s start appreciating ourselves, our strengths and weaknesses. And then others will do it.
3. Don’t expect others to love you.
The idea that everyone in your environment will like you is utopian. Nobody is obligated to love anyone. You are the most important person in your life. And you are the only one who can make you happy.
4. Don’t expect others to be what you want them to be.
We cannot change people. And they cannot change you. We cannot control what others think, believe, do or say. There are few options for what to do with it. You either accept others for who they are, or decide to change yourself, or allow everyone to go their own way.
5. Don’t expect others to know what you’re thinking.
Our logic and our way of thinking is unique and individual. Therefore, it is important to clearly express what we want, because others may not be aware of it.
6. Don’t expect everything to be fine all the time.
Stay positive. Use your experience to be better and stronger. Failures happen. But this is no reason to lose hope.