Are there any rules for a happy relationship? Of course, and I want to tell you about them. These rules will help you make your relationship harmonious and happy.
Rules that will strengthen your relationship
Absolutely, not at all, never and under no circumstances. The comments are not inspiring. It clips wings, inhibits initiative, extinguishes the fire of energy and desire. By making a remark, you become a parent, and from this position it is basically impossible to inspire. Because a critical parent always addresses a naughty child.
If you don’t want to turn your man into a stubborn or helpless child, don’t judge. You can create and wish only in the state of the natural childish “I”. The natural child is spontaneous, unlimited in thoughts and possibilities. Criticism narrows thinking and hinders development. Even constructive! And in general, making comments is not your task, let everyone in the relationship system do their own thing: the boss points out mistakes, and the wife inspires. You don’t want it to be the other way around, do you?
Do not comment
How is this different from the previous installation? Has it ever happened to you that your husband, while fixing an outlet or a switch, asks you to hold a flashlight or tools, and you, purely out of a noble desire to help, seeing that he is not succeeding, begin to ask questions, put forward ideas and assumptions? It happens? Don’t do it again. Never! Such comments differ from criticism only in the form of presentation. And the semantic load is the same: you doubt his abilities, knowledge, skills, talents – in himself.
Do not shout
This is not even discussed, it is an axiom that just needs to be accepted. Not just not screaming in front of other people, but not screaming at all. Everything that you want to convey can be said calmly – this way you are much more likely to be heard. Well, I don’t think it’s worth reminding you that when you scream, you become like a teacher or a hysteric, in general, like anyone, but not like a woman who inspires you to great deeds.
This task for many women is more difficult than all the previous ones put together! Your seemingly completely innocent question, as if by the way: “Where are you?” – this is a test. And not even veiled.
Have you ever paid attention to how the women of those men who earn fortunes illegally behave?
That’s right, they don’t interfere. They appreciate them for what a man he is in relation to them. How he makes money is his business. And, usually, they are much happier than women who interfere in the affairs of their beloved, and throw tantrums from the series “how could you …”. I do not urge you to push your husband to scams or frauds and accept it, but I only urge you to moderate supervision and trust your loved one.
By fulfilling the above conditions, you can create a truly happy and harmonious relationship in which you will energize and inspire your husband. If you break the rule of four “not”, all your efforts are reduced to “no”. Because it is impossible to ignite with energy by criticizing, commenting, shouting and checking. Well, not great things for sure.
What will help to adhere to the rule of four “not”?
Knowledge and observation
The knowledge itself helps me to identify those situations in which I violate this rule. It’s like in the famous experiment where you are asked to think about the color red, imagine it and wander around the room with your eyes. And you, as if by magic, will begin to notice how much red is around you, in your usual surroundings.
Try looking around the room right now, and I assure you, you will find something red. If we mentally focus on something, we begin to see it in the world around us more clearly and clearly. If you always remember the rule of four “NOTs”, you will be able to notice and stop situations in which you violate it.
In order to sharpen your inner eye even more, write down right now the situations when you acted contrary to the law of four “NOTs”. Do this every day, if possible, or every time you notice yourself breaking a rule. This will help you better track your misses and stop yourself in time.
Noticed? Change! Every time you notice that you have violated this commandment, try to change the situation. If you shouted – apologize; criticized – praise; commented – say something like “but, by the way, you yourself know how best, dear”; controlled – give freedom in something else.
Use the thirst for control correctly
Direct your control not outward – on your husband and children, but inward – on your own thoughts, feelings, reactions. Over time, you will learn to feel when you want to break one of the four rules and stop yourself in time. Even if you stumble halfway through a phrase, it’s already a victory!