Our world is populated by different people. Everyone has their own character, upbringing, goals, level of emotionality. It is extremely difficult to put up with each person. And yes, it is not required. It is much more important to be able to smooth out conflicts. Believe me, this is much more significant for your mental health. Psychologists say that any aggression is controllable. Of course, if we are not talking about an inadequate state of affect or agony.
To stop the negativity from any aggressor, it is important to know these 3 phrases:
1. “Please speak more slowly. I would like to help you”
Of course, it’s not at all that people who are frustrated speak too quickly. The problem is that they usually scream or sob uncontrollably. However, this phrase has a truly magical effect.
Why does it work? This phrase breaks patterns in my head. You are expected to confront, and you show that this is not so. You are asking for clarification. You are interested. This confuses emotional people. And it calms them down.
2. “What would you like me to do?”
This question works on the same principle as phrase number one. It causes the emotional person to switch the brain from the subcortex, which recognizes only flight or fight, to the departments that are able to think rationally.
3. Any clarifying question on the topic of conversation
This trick is good to use if you are dealing with mentally unstable people. It does not matter at all how sane your opponent is. If you hope to return the conversation to a reasonable course, you should not prove to the interlocutor that he has lost his mind or convey your point of view in detail. By doing this, you will make the person even more angry. Why is this happening? The explanation is almost always a covert form of opposition. The interlocutor will subconsciously feel this, as a result of which he will become even more aggressive and emotional.
Therefore, if your opponent is clearly delirious, foaming at the mouth, proving that the earth is square, it is better to ask him what size this square is. Do not rush to twist your finger at the temple. By asking clarifying questions, you are likely to be able to move the conversation on firmer ground.
Any of these three phrases helps to set up the right communication with the interlocutor, and this is already half the battle! Use these phrases more often, and you will notice that there are noticeably fewer aggressive and irritated people in your environment!