In today’s world, it can be hard not to seek universal approval. First, social media has raised public expectations. Secondly, our own complexes often force us to make excuses and explain ourselves to others. But in fact, in most cases, you do not need to explain your actions and preferences at all – and you certainly do not need to make excuses. It only underestimates your self-esteem, tying it to other people’s opinions. Trust yourself!
Here are 10 things you don’t have to explain to anyone:
1. Why do you want to be alone
Everyone needs to be alone sometimes. There is no shame in wanting to spend the weekend at home instead of hanging out with friends.
Maybe you want to read a book, watch a series, or just lie in bed. This does not mean that you are anti-social; it means you understand your needs.
Being alone sometimes is very helpful. This is confirmed by numerous studies. Loneliness helps:
- develop creative skills;
- become more productive;
- do what you have long wanted;
- get to know yourself better;
- improve positive attitude;
- increase empathy;
- clear thoughts and relieve stress;
- relax and enjoy life.
2. Who do you communicate with
People are always interested in who you spend time with, especially if it has to do with your personal life.
But you do not have to explain to anyone what attracts you to your partner. It doesn’t matter if your family and friends approve of your choice – the main thing is that you are happy. It’s your decision.
The same goes for friendship. You need to be friends with those with whom you feel good. If you feel that communicating with people depresses you, this is not friendship.
Communication with relatives is also not always an easy task. If for some reason you want to cut ties with a toxic family member, that is your right.
In the end, you have every right not to communicate with anyone at all. This is your business and your choice – no one has the right to demand explanations from you!
3. What are you interested in
It has become very popular on the Internet to poison people because their tastes do not coincide with some far-fetched “high standards”. Movies, books, songs and celebrities are suddenly declared unworthy, and everyone who likes them is ridiculed.
But you know what? Your tastes are your business. If someone doesn’t like something you like, it’s not your problem! You don’t have to make excuses!
4. What career have you chosen
There are very unusual professions. There are unpleasant, but highly paid. There are practical, but boring, as well as interesting, but unpaid.
Sometimes you hold on to a low paying job because you’re interested. And sometimes leave a “prestigious” position because you’re fed up. Or turning down a promotion because you don’t want to spend less time with your family.
All of these options are completely normal. Your career only affects your life (well, the life of a partner, if any). Therefore, no one can demand from you an account of how and why you build your professional life.
5. Your beliefs
Different beliefs and values is a potentially explosive topic, especially in today’s politicized world. But the fact is that you still can’t convince anyone of anything – so why waste time and effort on explanations?
Here are areas of personal beliefs that require no explanation:
- ethical attitudes;
- moral values;
- Political Views.
6. Why you refuse or agree to ask for forgiveness (and forgive)
Why apologize if it’s not sincere? This is a lie and only gives the other person the wrong idea.
You never have to apologize, even if you are expected to. Of course, you can apologize if you feel like it’s the right thing to do, even if you don’t feel like it. The choice is yours.
The same applies to forgiveness. For some reason, it is believed that you must always forgive offenders. No, they are not required. If you want, forgive, if you don’t, no. The choice, again, is yours.
7. Your identity
Are you considered weird? Are you advised to change your style? Send them somewhere else.
Constructive criticism is helpful, but you must distinguish valuable advice from criticism. Of course, you always need to improve yourself, but you don’t have to justify yourself.
You are unique, beautiful and special. No one is allowed to humiliate you.
8. Why you are “falling behind” others
Your former classmate is already married and has children. Your former classmate has already become the director of the company. Your younger brother has already received his degree.
In such cases, comparisons often begin – not in your favor. But life is not a competition. Everyone has their own problems and circumstances, and there is nowhere to rush!
Move at the speed that suits you best. Tune in to the positive and stock up on determination. One day you will achieve everything you want!
9. Your pain
People love to measure their misfortunes. Probably, you, too, have ever been told that it’s a sin for you to complain, because it’s harder for someone else.
But your pain is just as important. It doesn’t matter if someone is worse or better, suffering is, by definition, subjective. Other people’s problems do not cancel yours.
So don’t ignore the pain, because it won’t go away on its own. It is not at all necessary that other people recognize your right to suffer. It is enough that you feel bad; admit it and find a way to fix it.
10. Your value
Arrogance and self-confidence are two different things. You can know your own worth, but at the same time not look down on others. No one has the right to question your worth.
This means that sometimes (almost always!) you have to put yourself first. It is very useful – and at the same time pleasant. And that doesn’t make you selfish at all!