My favorite parenting rule is: “Prepare your child for the road, but don’t take away from him the opportunity to walk on her own.”
Mistake # 10: You Worship Your Children
Most of us try to be perfect parents. Our children live in much better conditions than we lived at their age. We satisfy all the whims of our child: he wants a new toy – please! Another chocolate bar – take it! The problem, however, is that children start to think that the whole world revolves around them. And the next time your child doesn’t get what they want, they’ll get very upset. Much stronger than the boy next door, with whom they do not “lisp” so much.
We must not bow before our children. We must love them. For us, they are the center of the Universe, but they should not perceive themselves that way. Otherwise, they will grow up to be egoists. Not getting what you want here and now is normal.
Mistake # 9: You Think Your Children Are Perfect
From specialists working with children, I very often hear that many parents today are completely unprepared to perceive negative reviews in relation to their offspring. As soon as someone criticizes them, then they immediately stumble upon a wave of rejection or even aggression from the parents. Sometimes we need to intervene as quickly as possible to keep things from getting out of hand. If school teachers tell you that your child is misbehaving and offending classmates, the conclusions should be drawn with the child, not the teachers.
Mistake # 8: Your whole life is your kids
We are proud of our children. When they do something important, we are happier than if it were our own successes. But in everything there should be a measure. You must have your own life and your own successes. Children need the right example to follow. Become it. If you want your child to live a fulfilling life, live it yourself!
Mistake # 7: You Make All Decisions For Himself
Of course, we all want our child not to get into some nasty story. Of course, we want him to sing our praises and respect us for the fact that we want to provide him with a better life.
The problem, however, is that such a child cannot think independently. And he falls into one of two extremes: either he cannot make even the most trifling decision without your participation, or he begins to forget that permissiveness is not normal. Don’t decide for your child who he should be. This is not the right expression of love on your part.
Mistake # 6: Competitive education
Every parent wants their child to be better than the rest. Studied better, showed better sports results. Many are addicted to this so much that their child begins to view their whole life as one endless competition. But our life is not only sweat and struggle. Life is also the joy of being aware of the present moment. Instead, try to instill in your child the idea that winning at any cost is not the only thing that matters. A person is determined not by his victories, but by his character.
Mistake # 5: you rob him of his childhood
The happier your child’s childhood is, the happier he will be as a person. This is an imperative proven by scientists. The surest way to deprive a child of childhood is to load it with school lessons, music school, foreign language studies, sports, etc. And we also want our children to help us do household chores. But with all of this, you must not forget that everyone should have the right to childhood.
Mistake # 4: You Want to Have a “Right” Child, Not a “Real” Child
We begin to make plans for our children even when they are still in our womb. We dream that they will grow up and achieve more than we do.
But the irony is that you can’t get the perfect baby you dream of. You will get the only possible person who could be born to you. Don’t try to change what you don’t like about him. Don’t force him to become who he supposedly should be in your dreams. Let him become who he wants to become.
Mistake # 3: you forget that actions are more important than words.
We all want to appear perfect to our children. We all know that in order for a child to grow up smart and kind, we must set an example for him. But most of us also forget that moral precepts only work in one way: if you follow them yourself.
Therefore, the next time you scold your child for being disrespectful to peers, ask yourself: maybe the child spied on a negative example behind you?
Mistake # 2: You Judge Parents By Their Children
When you meet an ill-mannered child anywhere, you automatically start thinking that his parents are trashy. But it is not always the case. There are no ideal adults and “plasticine” children. There is nothing perfect in the world, as well as nothing hopeless. We never know how much other parents worry about their children. Therefore, we should not judge them.
Mistake # 1: underestimating character
Each child has his own character and his own inner moral compass. These things mean a lot more than your efforts to transform your child into the perfect person. Don’t try to teach him from the templates written in the books. Everyone needs their own approach. The main thing to take care of is character. The only way to let a child temper him is to give him more freedom. Don’t hide your child from the real world.
Let your love not become a prison for him!